The Wonderful Tale of a Boy Named Ronald Bilius
by alaskanlucille
Summary: crack!fic: Ronald Bilius, son of Legolas-Prince of Mirkwood, goes to Hogwarts! FUN/SNOGGING/EMONESS ENSUES. PG rated, H/D/R shipping. OBVIOUSLY DO NOT OWN CHARACTERS.
1. Ronald Bilius Goes To School

Once upon a time there was a little boy called Ronald Billius. That was his real name.  
But most people called him Ron, instead of that long, _interesting _name.

His mom was murdered when he was only two years old, so his dad, Legolas Greenleaf -who happens to be the Prince of Mirkwood- had to raise Ron all alone. He did this with pain and patience, but with the greatest love nonetheless. The boy, Ron, was bullied his entire life, for his flaming red hair -since his dad was almost platinum blond, the rumor went that Legolas wasn't his real dad- and he was to be the future king of Mirkwood, something other children were jealous of, and teased him about. Once they noticed that nobody did a thing about it, they continued and it became worse. All together Ron's life sucked, he was very miserable the biggest part of his life.

It was a warm summer's day when Legolas approached his son. "Dearest son, I have great news for thee!"  
Ron, whom was busy planting tulips outside in the beautiful green garden, dropped his little spade and turned his head. "What?", he asked his dad.  
"I have received a letter of your godfather's brother, Albus Dumbledore. Remember him? We met him a few years ago on Arwen's birthday party."  
"Oh, right, the freaky dude, Gandalf's brother." Ron said.  
"Yes, he! He is headmaster at a school, Hogwarts I believe".  
"Bloody hell! Hogwarts? What kind of loony name is that?" Ron bellowed.  
"You know what I told you about using _those words_, Ronald. No use of-"  
"Dirty and god forbidden words in this house, I know, I know father." Ron sighed and continued his planting.  
Legolas looked at his son with worry in his eyes. It pained him to see his son so unhappy. That is why he was so delighted to have received an invitation for Ron to join Hogwarts. It would be a new beginning for Ron, he could make new friends and no one would know of his royal origins.  
"Anyways," Legolas said, "Dumbledore has sent you an invitation, he would like to see you attending his school. He thinks, and I agree with him, that it would be a perfect way to start over, to make friends and you will not be bullied again".  
"They don't bully me," Ron mumbled, turning red. He was always embarrassed to talk about this; he thought it was his own fault, that he was too weak. "It's just our way of communication".  
"Oh, try not to fool me, Ronald. You know I know, and I would like to see things different. I want you to go to Hogwarts, starting this year".  
Ron didn't know what to say. He wanted the bullying to stop as much as his father wanted it, but he didn't know if attending a new school would solve it. There were kids there as well, why wouldn't they bully him? "I.. I don't know dad".

Legolas sighed, and put his hand on Ron's shoulder, trying to get his full attention. "Son, I as your father knows what's best for you. I ask of you to go to the school. It is famous for having the best teachers and their way of teaching the students. Many who have graduated there are now on top of social society. Where you will be when you are older".  
Ron looked his father in the eyes, but quickly turned his head away, again embarrassed. Being the grandson of a King was not something to accept easily, especially when you've never even set a foot in the King's country. (Legolas and his wife moved away when they got married).  
"You could always go back in the first holiday to come. But please, just try it. It is the best for you" said Legolas.  
Ron stood up, dropped his spade and walked away, leaving "I'll think about it" as an answer for his father.  
Legolas watched his son walking to their mansion, and sighed, hoping Ron would agree with him. _It is the best way._ Then his eyes caught the glittering of the spade lying on the ground, and the Prince of Mirkwood finished his son's job.

Riding this train was kind of like sleeping without socks, Ron figured. It was not really pleasant, but a necessity. Because, without socks, you get warm feet during the day. So with socks, you get up, and have cold feet. And that was something Ron absolutely dreaded, but he did like sleeping without socks. And well, it was just the same with the train. If he weren't riding this train, he'd still be Royal with a capital letter. But he didn't want to go. Ron thought again, well he sucked at comparing things. The point was, he just didn't want to go somewhere, where he didn't know anyone. But, maybe it was for the best. After all, his dad had been pretty happy about it. Ron envied his father. Legolas had everything. The hair, the robes, it just all added up. Even though many people had their doubts about him being Ron's real dad, he was a well-liked person back in Sblomieville, their village. _Someday…_, Ron thought…

"Uhum, is this seat taken?" Ron looked up, with bulging eyes. There stood, an extraordinary boy. He had white hair, slick hair, and an arrogant look. His eyes twitched arrogantly. Ron swallowed and glanced up.  
"Sure, err, I guess." The boy's hair looked like Ron's father's hair. Ron decided to ask the supreme question.  
"Like, can I ask you something?" The boy looked irritated but nodded nonetheless.  
"Do you, like, dye your hair?" Ron blushed and looked at his feet. The boy gasped for air and a reddish blush decorated his cheeks.  
"Why would I tell you?" The boy was going for the aggressive defense. Good one Ron, he thought to himself.  
"Well, I don't know," he muttered. Damn, he had to work on his people skills.  
" You really have to work on your people skills," the boy said. Damn, he was good.  
" I know, but, I'm shy!" Now Ron was actually at the point of dropping dead of embarrassment.  
" I could give you an ounce of my arrogance," the boy offered.  
" Nah, thanks, it's okay." Suddenly, they were interrupted. A weird, skinny boy entered their cabin. He looked terribly emo. His thick, black glasses proved it. The emo-boy acted rather strange really, he strolled, yes, strolled into the cabin and did a little bit of a geeky dance. He swung his hips right and left, and then sort of put his arms in his neck, flabbering them everywhere. The blond boy looked like he enjoyed it, so Ron started to look at emo-boy with more appreciation. He wore nice pants.  
Ron was confused. He was thinking about emo-boy's pants. Why would he do that?  
Ron thought of his dad, and his advice. Legolas had told him that in awkward situations, he should just blurt out something random, and it would be fine. So Ron didn't even think twice. He just blurted.  
" So you guys like gardening?" It sure was a hell less awkward, Ron thought sarcastically.


	2. Ronald Bilius Arrives at School

The emo-boy stopped dancing, and looked confused at Ron. The white-haired boy did the same. _Oh, what have I done.._ Ron thought, knowing his chance to be friends with the boys was no more. How could he be so stupid to ask something so random, he did not know.  
The seconds flew and the boys hadn't said a thing yet, in fact they still looked at Ron with bewilderment. Then, they looked each other in the eye and burst out laughing. Ron was so relieved he laughed with them, not really knowing for sure why they were laughing.  
"Like gardening?" the blonde one managed to say after a minute of non-stop laughing. "We love it!" exclaimed the emo-kid, doing a weird move with his legs, and sat down next to the other boy. "What kind of spades have you got?" one of them asked.  
"I have many!" Ron exclaimed. "But my most favorite has to be the Slight Slacker VI, it is powerful, yet gentle". And the boys chattered and laughed on for a few hours. Ron was happy he finally found some friends, well at least some boys who share the same interests. Who knows, he might be happy there at Hogwarts!  
"My dad bought me the newest Rad Rake a few weeks ago. I love it! It is the best rake I've ever got!" said the white haired boy, with a look of pride and arrogance on his face. "In fact-"  
The compartment door was rudely opened by two very big blokes, one looking like a pig, the other having much in common with a baboon. When the blond boy spotted them, he jumped up immediately and pulled out his wand and pointed it towards the emo. "Get the hell away from me, Potter" he said, with a voice full of hate.  
"Malfoy? What are you doing here?" one of the blokes asked.  
"Shut up, Crabbe" the boy, apparently called Malfoy, almost yelled. "Let's get out of here. I don't want to waste my time with Pothead and Redneck here". They left the compartment, leaving a confused Ron, and the emo-boy, well, he looked disappointed, not confused at all. Ron got the feeling that there is more in the picture, but decided not to ask anything about it, he didn't want to loose the only friends -or friend?- he got.  
"So, er... you're Pothead?" Ron asked.  
Emo looked at Ron, and sighed. "No.. My name is Harry Potter. But everyone in Slytherin calls me Pothead". Ron remembered his father talking about Slytherin, it was one of the four Houses of Hogwarts.  
"Oh, they're the evil ones, aren't they?" he asked.  
"Not all of them," Harry said softly, with a sad smile on his face, looking at the floor. "Some of them are actually really nice - once you get to know them. They are just misunderstood".  
Ron nodded. "Ah..".  
"So what's your name?" Harry said, shooting his head up, really wanting to change the subject.

A few hours later the train stopped, Ron and Harry had already changed into their robes, and they walked out of the train into the students-mass. "Firs' years over 'ere! First years! All first years over 'ere!" a huge man bellowed. He was standing a few meters away, but Ron could see him nonetheless, his shoulders were about two heads higher than the students were. "Ah, 'Arry!" the man said. "Hagrid!" Harry said, receiving a big hug from the giant. "How's yer vacation been?" Hagrid asked.  
"You know, just the usual". Harry smiled. "No Dursleys-problems?" Hagrid asked worriedly. "Nothing out of the extraordinary".  
Harry had told Ron already all about the Dursley's, how they've treated him, how they're still treating him.  
"We have to go, Hagrid, or all the carriages will be full!" Harry said. "Bye!"  
"Yes, go on then. Goodbye!" Hagrid waved. "See you" Ron brought weakly.  
"That's Hagrid, the Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts. He's our Care of Magical Creatures teacher as well" Harry told him. Ron nodded.  
They managed to find an empty carriage, and they stepped inside. When Harry slammed the door closed, it opened again and a surprised voice said: "Harry! That wasn' very nice, was it? Here - hold Crookshanks, I'll be right back". A cat was pushed into Harry's lap, and it started to make himself comfortable right away. "Who was that?" Ron asked.

Harry was silent for a moment. How could he even begin to explain Hermione? "Well," he started to say, but then stopped. "She's.. different. You oughta be careful with her, since well, in the beginning of school, she was this really hard studier. But then, she dated Glorflindel, and let's say, for an elf, this dude's got some attitude. So, he had some fun with her, they went to huge parties. And, she forgot all about her old friends. Then he dumped her, because she wouldn't go to you know.. Third base. And well, ever since, she just hasn't been the same. She's jumpy around boys and even talks to her cat." Harry held up Crookshanks, shaking him more violent than necessary. "So well, I don't know. She's been through a lot. Draco, you know, the blond kid, gave her a hard time. Then she let the school nurse use magic to let her shrink her teeth. And now she's not a nerd anymore, and they don't give her any credit." Ron listened to this story carefully, and he figured, that maybe Hogwart's wasn't much better than his old school. He empathized to Hermione, whom he'd never met, and completely adored Harry, who, while telling the story, changed his expressions from loving, to worried, to hopeless. Ron figured Harry and Hermione must be very good friends. So he decided to ask a question: "When d'you meet Hermione?" Harry shook his head, obviously shaking the last confused memory-bits of Hermione and Glorflindel off, and then said:" Oh, since the first day of school. We started off real bad, because, like I told you she was this total nerd, telling everybody how much she knew. But then I saved her from a cave troll. And we've been best friends ever since." Ron felt a stab in his chest, and instantly knew it was jealousy. "Hey," Harry changed the subject with not much subtlety," wanna play some Mario?" Ron looked confused. But then, Harry flipped open the wall of the carriage and rolled a television-set out. There were hand controls and 3 games, Mortal Combat, Zelda and Mario. Ron let out a happy yelp. "I wanna play mortal combat!!" He whined. Totally. Harry looked satisfied. "Sure, do you want to be the girl?" Ron nodded, of course he wanted that. The girls totally had the best way of killing people. They stabbed their fingers in someone's head.

Soon Harry and Ron were completely lost in the game. The carriage opened again. A girl with small teeth, and bushy hair entered. Then she stopped moving in shock, as she saw Ron. She opened her mouth, and looked flushed. Her skin turned a whiter shade of pale, and Ron was afraid she might faint. In fact, he was so worried, he let his mortal Combat figure unprotected, and immediately got killed. Harry let out a happy yelp and turned to scream: "yaaay ! I beat you! "But then he saw Hermione and changed the sentence. But that wasn't working out. "yaaay! I behermione!" Hermione still stared at Ron as if he were the ghost of her dead grandparents. Harry took Hermione's hand and pulled her into the carriage, as they were about to leave. Then he cast a look at Ron, begging him to remain silent, just by using his eyes. Ron, of course, took the hint, and began babbling about how dangerous it was, not sitting in a carriage but standing. About what he had for dinner, and his expectations of Hogwarts. "So you know, if everyone is just as nice as you are, I'll have friends in like a nano-second!.... And then I hope we could visit the gardens and stuff… And where do we sleep?" Finally Ron looked up, and SMACK, someone had hit him. Very hard. Ron streched his jaw. " Jesus! What's that all about?" Harry, the awesomely good hitter, smirked. "Had to shut you up one way or the other."

Ron grinned. Before Harry knew it Ron had hit him back. Harry laughed, Ron was not so good a hitter as himself, and hit Ron again, this time on the shoulder. Ron couldn't do nothing now, he hit Harry back and a true hitting-match began. The boys had much fun hitting each other, totally forgetting about the mortal combat game they were playing. Hermione however wasn't, she thought it was childish and didn't want to have to do anything with it. She just rolled her eyes from time to time, stroking Crookshanks, looking outside the window thinking about Merlin knows what - or who.  
A little while later Harry and Ron were stopped by Hermione shrieks: "We're there! Look, Hogwarts!". Hermione was jumping around hyper, a little too much for Ron's likings. When Harry started to do the same, and Ron could hear a lot of excited shrieks coming from the carriages around him, he looked outside the window as well, to see what all the commotion was about.  
All he saw was a castle. Yes, it was a pretty one, but to get all hyper about it? Ron didn't get it.  
When the carriages stopped in front of the castle, the students got out as fast as possible. It was a humorous sight: students were dancing and jumping excitedly, pushing each other to get through the door as fast as possible. There were an old woman and an old man trying to get the children to calm down, to form a line and to quietly enter the castle. But it was all useless, of course. "Always the same - Every single year!" the woman cried out desperately, trying to stop two youngsters who were fighting. The old man responded with nothing but a growl.  
Ron didn't know what to do. Harry was doing exactly the same, Ron could see a glimpse of white-blond hair fighting off a brunette, and Hermione was standing on a statue, screaming "Free the House elves!". It reminded Ron more of a riot.  
Since he was the only one not jumping and screaming and god knows what more, it was easy to spot him, which the elderly woman did. She made her way towards him, with a "Out of my way, Pucey!" and a "Drop that stick now, Ms Bell!" once in a while. "Ah, you must be the new student? Ronald Greenleaf?" she said on the top of her voice, trying to be louder than the children's hyper screams. Ron yelled a "Yes." back, but the woman didn't hear him, so he nodded, thinking if she couldn't use her ears, her eyes might work better. "Good, follow me then, if you please." she yelled, pushing Ron through the crowd.  
Once they finally got inside -it was a good ten minutes later-, not without a bruise or two, the lady pushed Ron towards a chamber, saying "We'll wait here for the first years". Ron nodded. He didn't know what to do, so he decided to check the room out. It wasn't a real room exactly; it was more of an open space, with several stairways and a giant door. Ron wondered where the door would lead to. Soon the door opened and a pack of first years came out of it. _Curious..._ Ron thought. _I must ask someone about that._  
He was startled out of his thinking when he heard the old lady speak. "Welcome all to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I am Professor McGonagall, Deputy-Headmistress of Hogwarts, Head of Gryffindor House _and_ Transfiguration teacher", she said, not without some pride. "Now, in a few moments, you will pass through these doors and join your classmates. But before you take your seats, you must be sorted into your houses. They are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Now while you're here your house will be like your family. Your triumphs will earn you points. Any rule breaking and you will loose points. And the end of the year, the houses with the most points is awarded the house cup. If you would wait here - the Sorting Ceremony will begin momentarily". With that, she walked through the door, quickly closing it not to give the students a glimpse of what was going on inside there. The first years start chattering, about how excited they were, in which houses they want to be, and what classes they were looking forward to. Ron was feeling uncomfortable; he was with his 6ft a lot taller than the first years. Some were staring up at him, wondering why he was with them. Ron saw a few girls staring at him, when he looked back the girls quickly turned around and giggled. Ron flustered, and his face burned almost as red as his hair.  
It was then when the door opened; Professor McGonagall came through, and said: "We are ready for you. Follow me".


	3. Ronald Bilius Needs a Talent

Inside, there was a huge hall, with tables. There were a million students sitting there, some were dressed with a sign that said Gryffindor, and another table really fancied snakes. There also was a table with Ravenclawers, and also one with Hufflepuff. Ron's eyes bulged out. Then he saw a hat. It was old, and it moved a little bit. It looked like it was patched up, with old rags. All of a sudden, it sneezed. The first-years all tried to hide behind Ron's back, since he was tallest.

McGonagall, the proud teacher/head/deputy-headmistress of Hogwarts, stood still and looked down at the first years, then to Ron, and said: "So, are you all ready? Practiced your performances? Fine, we will now begin." All the first-years looked happy. Nervous, but happy. Ron was in shock. Again. Performances? What? He muttered something that sounded like : no! don't do this to me!  
And one of the first-years, a small girl with black hair and big gray eyes looked up at him, concerned. She grabbed his trousers, and pulled him back.

"It's a performance," she whispered, with big eyes. "You are supposed to do something with the sorting hat on, and then he'll now where to put you!"

She held up her pink tutu and said: "see? I'm dancing for him. Everyone practiced for ages! Didn't you read about it in your letter?"  
Ron cursed himself. He didn't read the letter. Legolas had. "No! "he said. "I only garden! I can't dance! I have no talents!"  
The girl looked at Ron carefully, and offered some solutions: "Like, can you act? Or, what's your favorite band? Song? You can sing!! Something appropriate."  
Ron winced; " I can't act!" McGonagall's voice shouted through the hall. " And now, our first act, Ron Billius!" Everyone clapped, and looked around curiously.  
Ron stepped forward, put on the hat, and tried to ignore the crowd. He hated crowds. The hat had to know that.  
So, the first thing Ron did, was close his eyes and thought really hard : _I am afraid of crowds, don't make me do this. I am afraid of crowds_.  
He opened his eyes, and saw everyone staring, completely silent. He swallowed hard. Damn. He drew a deep breath, and sang a shivering line. The first sentence coming to mind, seeing the school, the crowd.

"You seem very well, things look peaceful"

There was a white haze in front of his eyes, he could do this. He would dare. He would be brave.

"I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know" well, they should. Shouldn't they? He saw the smiles of people, as they recognized the song. Not many did though. He saw Harry smiling wide, but well, Ron had already known Harry knew the song. Hermione looked confused. But who could blame her? He sang a capella, and he didn't have quite the vocals Alanis had.

"Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity; I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner".

Well, he did hate that, yes. But now, he saw more and more people smiling. Maybe this was turning out good. They didn't "boo" him away. Ron regained strength, and thinking of his youth, he sang:" It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced," and then, without thinking he went on: "Are you thinking of me when you fuck her…" Uh-oh, Ron thought, as two first-years burst into tears, hearing the F-word. He quickly ran through the words of the next chorus, and found they weren't all that appropriate either. So he decided to change them, but keep the melody.

"Cause I want to be here, cause I feel here at home,  
And I'm scared as a bird as, as I'm singing here, oh!  
And every time I make some friends I screw it up, they're accidents.  
Accidents! But I want to start here."

Well, that went well, Ron thought. So his confidence was at its top, and suddenly, he wasn't Alanis, he wasn't trying to be her, but he did have her vocals.

" And I'm here to remind you  
Of the mess you left when you went away  
It's not fair to deny me  
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me  
You, you, you oughta know"

People were clapping the melody, so Ron decided to give them some more verses.

" Cause the joke that I was in the life that was mine  
And the terror that I had in many lives,  
and few love  
And every time I make some friends I kill the time we had  
and never look back ..well I still see it  
Well I'm here to remind you  
Of the mess you left when you went away  
It's not fair to deny me  
Of a house in this school where I want to be  
You, you, you oughta know"

Ron went silent, and the room exploded with applause, whistles, and screaming. Suddenly, Ron felt self-aware again. The room grew silent, and everybody was waiting for the hat to decide. What would it be? Ravenclaw? For the wit, for the brilliancy of changing the text of the song? Slytherin? For being so cunning? Or Gryffindor? He must have had a lot of courage doing this. There was no discussion about Hufflepuff. He just wasn't fit for it. Ron felt the thoughts of the hat, and looked at Harry. He looked for support, and love. Harry looked at him. With his fingers crossed. Ron felt a longing to him. The hat wanted to decide, he scrabbled Slytherin off. Ron just wasn't evil enough. And then, he noticed the sparks between Harry and Ron, and he drew in a relieved breath.

"Gryffindor!" And Ron smiled, took off the hat, and hugged it so tightly, he thought he'd never let go.

Every Gryffindor in the hall cheered and applauded loudly. The tall redhead was theirs! He should come in handy some times, like blocking spells from the Slytherins, or getting cats from the top of a closet. Ron had no idea what happened to him. After the hat shouted out Gryffindor he was blinded by happiness, and he couldn't hear a thing because of all the shouting of some students- the Ron inside him was screaming of happiness as well. The hat was screaming as well - to let him go. Ron didn't hear him, he just felt the Hat move and let him go. It fell down on the floor, and McGonagall angrily picked it up.

Ron didn't care, in fact, he didn't even notice. _I'm in Gryffindor! I'm in Gryffindor!_ was all he could think.  
He walked towards the Gryffindor table, the hands already reaching towards him, like he just won a athletics-match. He was in bliss, stepped on the front of his robe, and tripped over it. Ron smacked out of the 'bliss-thing' and realized he was falling.

It seemed to him like it happened in slow motion, he saw the floor coming closer and closer, but it took an eternity.

**Smack**!

That was the sound of a Ronald Billius meeting the floor and ruining his only chance to be cool at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  
He heard the shouts turning into gasps, to ohnoez!, to laughter. Ron lay there for a few seconds, then he focused back on the here and now and he quickly got up, his face completely red. The students were still laughing, but then Harry decided to help Ron out and started applauding. Soon more people followed Harry, until almost every one in the Hall were applauding - except a few Slytherins and a greasy-haired sour looking Professor. Ron turned, if possible, even more red and raised his hands slowly above his head, pretending to hold a cup up, cheering and jumping as if he just won something. This continued for a few minutes or so, until the Sorting Hat coughed loudly, letting them know they were wasting time. The hall grew silent, students hanging their hands in shame, and Ron sat down on the bench in front of Harry.

An hour or two later the Sorting was over, and most of the students had silenced their hungry stomach. Ron was still eating. Harry impatiently waited for Ron to finish, but it seemed as he never would, he kept filling his plate. Even Dumbledore was waiting; he wanted to have all students inside their common rooms, in bed, safe and warm. Ron didn't notice. All he did notice was the food, how good it was and how he really wanted everything. He was busy eating a drumstick, enjoying it very much, when all of the sudden it disappeared.  
"Hey! I was eating that!" he yelled to no one in particular.  
"I think you've had enough, Ron" he heard a voice say from behind him, which scared him. He looked behind, and saw Dumbledore standing. Then Ron looked around, and saw that there was no one there anymore, just him and the Head Master. "Where's everyone gone to?" he asked.  
Dumbledore smiled. "They're already asleep, young sir, and so should you be". Ron stood up, regretting he didn't eat faster. "Where-" he started, but was interrupted by Dumbledore.  
"Your common room is not far from here, follow the staircase and you shall find it. Look for the Fat Lady, the password is Werewolftooth. Good night." and with that, Dumbledore had disappeared, leaving Ron alone in the dark Hall.


	4. Ronald Bilius is Confused

Ron stumbled from his chair and looked around. The Great Hall looked dark, and scary. Ron shivered. Squinting his eyes, trying to see where the door was, he stumbled toward the stairs. Hell, he thought, why should I go to the common room immediately? He changed route, and walked into the dark corridor on the right. Looking carefully where the walls were, Ron walked forward. There were stairs. To a basement. Mm, Ron stopped in his tracks. Would he dare? Come on, you wuss!

Ten minutes later, Ron stood in front of a portrait, of a very evil looking young man. Thankfully, he looked as if he was sleeping. Ron sighed in relief.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

Ron stared up in horror. The portrait hadn't been sleeping at all. It was wide awake, and looked very angry.  
"So, redhead, going to say something? Or did the cat got your tongue?"  
Ron stood frozen, scared that if he'd move, some alarm would go off. "Well, did he?" Ron looked up in surprise. "Who did what?"  
The portrait sighed and screamed in disbelief, "The cat! God, you aren't very clever, are you? Well, no need to argue on that, let's introduce ourselves. My name is Dorian, Dorian Gray." The portrait looked very proud of this fact. "Well, what's your name then?" "Ronald Billius",he muttered. The portrait squealed. "Nooo, but you can't be! Already? Your father's Legolas right?" "Yes, do you, you know him?" The portrait blushed," Well, yes, of course I know your father. And I've seen you before! Remember the tea party? When you were about 5? That was when my human form was still walking around. " Ron looked horrified, suddenly remembering the man, from long ago. "But, you can't be! You must've died years ago!!" Ron couldn't believe it.

**No**, there would be anyone from his youth here! His father had promised! It seemed as if the portrait could read his mind, because when it spoke again, he said the most comforting words Ron had heard since he arrived here. "Ron, dear, Dumbledore offered me this job, as a housekeeper, on my dying bed. He also told me, you would come to this school in a few years, and if you did, you would run into me. I couldn't believe that at first, because well, I'd already guessed you wouldn't be a Slytherin. But Dumbledore told me not to worry, and said that I had to promise him something. "The portrait hesitated for a moment. "He told me, that when we would meet, I had to give you some advice. And tell you the truth."

"The truth about what? And why are you here? My father promised this would be a new start!"

"But Ron, it is, nobody knows I know you! And I won't tell! And well, I'm here to guide you! And if you would just let me talk, It would all become clear."  
Ron sighed. Alright then, he would listen to this Dorian person. And then he'd sneak out and go find his dorm. "Oh, no!" Ron looked up and saw the portrait's face become pale. "Ron, promise me you'll come back tomorrow!" Then the door, on which the portrait hung, flew open.  
A blond head spurted out, bumping into Ron. They fell in a tangled mess on the floor. "Fuck, what the hell are you doing here at this hour?"  
The blonde, with angry red flushed cheeks stared at Ron, as soon as they were untangled. Ron started apologizing, with his eyes still on the floor, but the blond boy recognized him en went: "OMYGEE! Why didn't you say it was you?" Ron bravely looked up, and let out a deep breath:" I didn't know it was you!"

Malfoy, the blond boy, grinned evilly and grabbed Ron's arm. "So, what _were _you doing here?"  
"I was looking for my dorm", Ron decided. Malfoy grinned, "by the way, my first name's Draco. Just so you know it." The blond boy shuffled his feet uncomfortable. "Do you want to see the.. the garden?" Ron blushed," I'd love to." The portrait was dead silent as they walked to the front door, but Ron memorized the way. He would definitely come back to hear the secret the portrait had to tell him. Not for the world would he miss that. Once they had reached the garden, Draco lifted his wand and murmured a spell. All of a sudden, there was light background music playing.

"How did you—"  
"Shh, sit down."

Ron sat on the nearest bench, searching for words. Why was Draco looking so nervous. "Now close your eyes." Ron obeyed. Sitting with eyes closed, he heard the music, and the wind. And he felt, soft warm lips on his own. His eyes shot open, and Draco, the one kissing him, flew back. "I'm sorry!" Draco's face was dark red. Ron heard a crack, of wood, a branch. He looked where the sound came from, and there stood Harry, in the dark. Alone. Ron stood up. Draco muttered sorry again, and ran off. Emoboy!Harry ran off. And Ron headed for his dorm. It had been a tiring day.

---------

After a dreadful night of falling asleep and waking up five minutes later, Ron decided to get up when the sun started rising. He did it without a sound, he didn't want to wake his roommates, especially not Harry- after what happened yesterday night. But exactly what happened yesterday night? Malfoy... no, Draco had kissed him. But why? Ron didn't know. Ron wasn't even sure if he liked it... _I think..._, Ron thought, _I think I did like it. Does that mean that I'm gay?! I'm gay? Ohmygod! I must ask Dorian about it..._.  
Meanwhile Ron had arrived, unconsciously, at the same place Draco kissed him. Ron sat down on the same bench, thinking about yesterday. About Draco, about Harry, about gay people, and about Dorian. He was just so confused. He always wished for a different life than he used to live, but now that he had one, he didn't know whether he liked it or not.  
Ron was so busy thinking, he didn't hear someone coming, so naturally, he was shocked when he heard someone say "Mind if I sit here?". It was Harry. "Oh, Harry! Yes, I mean, no, of course I don't mind." Ron stumbled. Harry sat next to him. For a few minutes they were silent, but then Harry began to talk: "Look, Ron... about last night-". Ron interrupted him. "Well yes about last night I'm terribly sorry and well I um well Draco started and he just-". Before Ron could finish his sentence Harry interrupted HIM. "Do you..uhm.. I mean... has Draco told you about him and me?"  
"Him and you?' Ron said, in his oblivious manner.

Harry looked around him, making sure there was no one around, who could possibly hear their conversation. No one was, but Harry whispered anyway. "You can't tell any one about this, you hear me?!". "Oh no okay I won't" Ron nodded. "Well," Harry whispered, "Draco and I...are sort of...you know, together".

"YOU'RE DATING MALFOY?" Ron yelled, completely forgetting his promise.

"Sssht! Not so hard, stupid". "But... but Draco kissed me!". "Yes, exactly. And that is the problem." Harry answered, slightly annoyed at Ron's stupidity. _Let's just hope it's only because it's still early_, Harry thought. "But.... aren't you mad or something?" Ron asked. "Mad? Are you frickin' insane? I'm not mad, I'm fucking pissed off! Angry! I swear I could kill the bastard if I had the chance".  
"Are you... mad at me?" Ron softly asked, scared of the answer. He didn't want to lose the friends he had.  
"No..." Harry said. "I saw everything. It was him who kissed you, you didn't do a thing". Ron sighed of relieve.  
"Phew, thank Merlin."  
"But...." Harry began.  
"But what?" Ron wanted to ask, but couldn't, because once again, he felt lips against his own. This time it was not Draco, but Harry kissing him. Ron didn't do a thing. He couldn't move. He didn't back away, he didn't kiss Harry back, he just sat there, letting Harry do his thing.

Surely enough, a few seconds later Harry drew his face back. For a second they stayed in that position, faces close, Ron could feel Harry's breath on his face.

_WHAT THE FUCK?!_, Ron thought. _Do I look like I'm gay or something?! Did they put a sign with 'I'm gay!' on my back, again?!_. "H-H-Harry," Ron said, and then swallowed. "W-why did you do that?".

Harry was silent for a while, then his face turned angry. "You didn't like it? I'm not good enough for you, am I? Well, fuck you! Just because your the son of a prince doesn't make you any better than the rest of us! And for your information, I only kissed you because I wanted revenge!!", and with that, Harry walked away, with long, angry steps.

_What..the...fu-HEY! How did he know about my father?! He's not supposed to know! Who told him that?! I know! It must be.. that Dorian! The fucker! I'll go to him immediately!_ And Ron walked away, towards Dorian's portrait, ready for a good, old fight.

_Damn Harry,_ Hermione thought, _he just believed all this Glorfindelcrap. Of course, she really hád digged Glor, but the réal reason of her sadness and rebellion was Harry Himself. Talking about oblivious, geez. Everything was true though, she didn't go to third base with Glor, but it wasn't just because she was too young, no, she had fallen in love with someone else. The reason Glorfindel got mad, was because he noticed. And the boy she had fallen for, was Harry. Emo emo Harry, with his scruffy look and scar. Obviously Glor got pissed. Well, and being pissed in a relationship just wasn't her idea of having a good time, now was it_?

Walking with steady pace Hermione felt her pulse race. Looking around the corner, checking if the coast was clear, she walked to the front of a painting. "So, did it work?" she asked softly. "Yes yes, you got the other information?"

Hermione smiled, she knew Sir Cadogan wanted his price. Yes, he was her ally. A strange one, but well, he always completed his tasks. And, he knew her victim. Ron, yes, Ron had met Sir Cadogan. When he first heard the painting with the weird knight on it talk, he had been shocked. But later on, he thought of it as normal. Ron, how she despised him. What did he have, that had this strange magical work on other people. Boys, Girls, all seemed to like him. And a lot even loved him.  
Hermione couldn't believe that Ron didn't even notice.  
With his sloppy attitude, always afraid of doing something wrong, and his freckles and orange hair ,he looked like a lost pup. Disgusting ,Hermione spitted out in her thoughts. So when she had done some research in the library, looking up if there was something in Ron's past to be disgraceful enough for her to use, and she found something, she was more than pleased. His father was a prince, no less, and Ron seemed eager to hide this from everyone.  
But even more important, his father didn't even seem all that straight, Hermione thought with a smirk.  
So that was why Ron was so hesitant of mentioning his father. And then, she just had the best idea. If she could spread this news through school, Ron would become the most disgraced person in school, because, even though lots of people at Hogwarts were gay, it was an unspoken rule that you did not confess that. It was a solemnly sworn subject of silence. The perfect way of spreading this was by letting Sir Cadogan scream it through hallways, and whisper it in ears. His small price, was for her to ask Deteronemeus, a painting of a very good-looking, very naked Egyptian warrior, if he was gay. And as it turned out, he was, and he had a thing for Sir Cadogan.  
It had taken her a lot of time convincing Deteronemeus that she was in fact on his side, but it was worth the total humiliation of Ron.  
Ron, whom Harry seemed to love. Of course, Hermione had known Draco and Harry had a thing, but she had also seen what the effect of Ron had on the two of them. They both liked him more than they liked each other.  
And after Harry had seen Draco kiss Ron, he got jealous.  
Not about Draco, but about Ron!  
Harry was supposed to be hers!  
It had always been that way. Well, they were friends, but harry hadn't seemed serious about his love for Draco, so Hermione had just assumed that later on, they would become a thing. Hermione and Harry.

But no, this… prince boy came.

Hermione looked down, and noticed blood dripping on the floor.  
She hadn't even noticed that she had made such strong fists.

She hadn't noticed that her nails'd made cuts in her flesh.


	5. Ronald Bilius is Frightened

Ron found Dorian's painting with ease, he had a memory like an elephant's. But when he got there, the beautiful man wasn't. The painting was empty. Ron didn't know what to do, he just stood there, bewildered. The second he wanted to call 'Dorian?!' out loud, the painting flew open, and just like before, a flash of white-blond ran out and bumped into Ron.  
'AAAH WHAT THE HELL', the owner of the strangely colored hair yelled.  
'AAAAAH', Ron yelled back.  
'YOU?!', they said at the same time. 'AGAIN?!', again in sync.  
Draco and Ron stared at each other. Ron felt his face turn red – this was the first time they've met since... _you know, the kiss_. Draco's cheeks turned a little redder as well. Then he cleared his throat. 'So, uhm, Ron….. Have you seen Harry? I mean Potter. Have you seen Potter.'  
Ron hadn't, not since... _you know, the other kiss_. 'I uhm – I … well no'. Ron thought it would be wise not to mention anything about them kissing.  
'Oh,' Draco responded, sounding a little disappointed. 'Well, if you see him, can you tell him I'm looking for him?'  
'Ehm, yeah, sure'.  
Draco glanced around, to make sure they were alone. 'So, hey, about last night...'  
'I'm not gay!' Ron interrupted.  
Draco looked at him, with an amused look on his face. 'No. 'Course you're not. Neither am I. Anyway, -'  
'I'm not!', Ron yelled this time. Why he said that he didn't know, he had no clue whether he was or not. All he knew right now was that he was very confused. Very.  
'Yeah, whatever. Anyway, I'm sorry that happened, I just.... got a little carried away. Just don't – don't mention it to anyone, ok?'  
Yeah. That sounded like something Ron could do. He nodded.  
'Alright. Don't forget to tell Harry I'm looking for him', said Draco. Then he winked, smirked and walked away.

The portrait had closed again, and Ron double-checked to make sure Dorian wasn't in it. 'Where the hell could he have gone to?'  
'If you're looking for the pretty boy, he's taking care of some business,' said a voice. Ron turned around, but didn't see anybody. He was all alone.  
'Ehm, he-llooo? Over hereee!', said the voice. It sounded like it came from the right. Ron looked, and saw the painting of a green lizard, in a yellow dress.  
Ron was confused.

'... Lizards don't talk!'.  
The lizard looked pissed. 'I'm NOT a lizard, o-kay? I'm a dragon. DRA-GUHN. Geez.'  
'... Dragons don't talk either.'  
This time the lizard, pardon, dragon turned completely red. "I'M A CHINESE MYTHOLOGICAL DRAGUHN, O-KAY? READ THE SIGN. HERE, IT SAYS 'GREEN CHINESE MYTHOLOGICAL DRAGUHN'. GEEZ!"  
Ron frowned, then looked at his feet, ashamed – the sign was pretty obvious. 'Sorry', he muttered.  
The dragon sighed. 'Whatever. Dorian asked me to tell you he had to take care of some business. He said, if you're looking for him, you have to follow the rabbit'.  
Ron thought he had hit rock bottom of confusion. '.... Rabbit? What?'.  
The dragon glared. 'My, you're a dumb one, aren't you? Look at the sign!'.  
And indeed, Ron saw a sign with a purple rabbit on it. Next to it was an arrow, pointing to a dark corridor.  
Ron gulped. 'So.. I have to go… in there?'. He pointed with shaky fingers.  
'YES YES, THAT'S WHAT THE SIGN SAYS, DOESN'T IT? GEEZ'.  
Ron looked back at the corridor. He opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, the dragon said: 'No more questions! If you want to find Dorian, follow the rabbit. If you don't, go back. Either way, GET OUT OF MY FACE!'.  
Ron quickly ran, towards the dark corridor. The Chinese mythological dragon scared him, he just wanted to get away from him. 'Phew, jumpy little creature!', Ron said to himself, as he got hold of a torch on one of the walls, and silently walked down the corridor.

The Chinese mythological dragon saw him walk away, making sure he was gone. Then, he pulled a walkie talkie out of his purse and said: 'Hermione? Hermione, CoCo here. I've got him, he fell for it! Over'.  
CoCo didn't hear anything, until – 'Good,' the person on the other end of the walkie talkie said. Then she burst out laughing. It was not a pleasant one.

Walking in the corridor, the rest of the world seemed to have disappeared.  
No sound broke through these walls, and no light entered the leaking tunnel. It was a moist place, with water dripping from the ceiling. Well, Ron hoped it was water.  
He wondered if he should go and fetch Dumbledore. Was it normal for corridors to appear and disappear randomly?  
What if this was dangerous? He could actually die! And who then would inherit the throne? Not his horrible nephew Andrew hopefully.  
Ron twitched, Andrew was absolutely ghastly!  
But he couldn't go to get Dumbledore, he didn't even have a clue of his whereabouts. So he picked his heart up off the floor and started walking. After what felt like hours, something touched his feet. When Ron was young, he often thought of what he would do, if scared literally to his wits. He figured he'd probably scream his lungs out, turn and run as fast as he could.  
Strangely, when it finally happened, he didn't do either of those things. Instead, he stopped dead in his tracks. He just froze. Opening his eyes as far as he could, but still not seeing anything, his breathing quickened. And then, just as he thought he'd actually die of heart failure, a light went on.  
Now Ron could take a closer look at the… creature that was brushing a path.  
_How odd_, thought Ron. _It's actually brushing away the path.  
_And indeed, where the "thing" had already brushed, there was no path. The creature now swiftly moved around Ron, and continued brushing until it was out of sight. "No! Wait!" Ron called out, but he heard nothing but silence. "Now I don't know where to go."

His voice cracked, as he realized what this meant. He didn't know where to go.  
He didn't know which way was the right way!  
He could not get out!


	6. Ronald Bilius Realizes he's in Deep Shit

In his circular room Dumbledore sat worriedly. Fawkes had just told him the strangest thing; a student seemed to appear and disappear in and out of the Hogwarts realm. After all the problems Albus'd had with Harry, serious measures had been taken to ensure safety inside the Hogwarts boundaries.  
And now this.  
Wild magic had to be the case, and it unsettled Albus, to say at the least. Only paintings and centaurs could control this kind of wizardry and they had all been examined, tested and trialed before being allowed to stay here at the school. Now one of them seemed to be messing with a students life no less!  
This called for action and nearly fuming, Albus turned to the large painting of a crimson couch on his left. "Theodore! Your help is required immediately. I need for you to fetch Alexia for me on the first floor and check in the hall of Co-Co whether there is a student in trouble over there."  
Theodore, a large man with multicolored stockings on yawned and stretched his body on the couch.  
"Albus, is this about Mr. Greenleaf? Us paintings, we already figured Co-Co was up to no good. We took action already, in the form of one of your most beloved heroes."

The painting winked, as if this hint was the most obvious clue in history, and indeed, the twinkle in Albus' eyes had already returned.  
"Very well," was all he said, and returned to his hot tea and lemon drops in the most cheerful manner.

What was it that made everyone automatically assume he was going to save their arses? WHAT WAS IT, Harry Potter wondered. It couldn't be his appearance. He was skinny, small and looked like he couldn't fight to save his life. Had Mr. Potter only listened to the gossip/rumormill in the hallways, the whispering of the girls in the lavatories, he would have known.

It was the eyes.

The green radiating eyes full of confidence, strength and … love. And now Harry was on another mission. One he would fulfill no matter what. It was Ron, his newly made friend and –though he would not admit it- his soon to be obsession. And he would give him all he had, Harry decided as he walked down the corridor.  
He didn't see the body moving towards him with a great shiny white mop of hair on top.  
But he did notice it bumping into him as they both turned the same corner in opposite directions.  
He did notice the way they were sprawled on top of each other, messy and clutching their heads.

"I was looking for you, where are you going?!", drawled an awfully familiar voice.

Harry tried to get up and run away quickly. Draco stopped him by pulling on his robe - now that he had finally found Harry he wouldn't let him go so easily.  
"We need to talk!".  
Harry gulped, looked around for a way to get out of Draco's clutch but found none. He sighed, and finally, looked him in the eye.  
"What about?", he fake-smiled pleasantly.  
"You know damn well what about".  
Harry sighed again. "Well, you fucking started!"  
"Nuh-uh! You did, flirting with him on the train. Don't think I didn't notice!", Draco said jealously.  
"Flirting? What are you on about?", Harry tried to say as sincerely as possible. He figured the easiest way to get rid of his lover was by denying it all.  
"You know I only care about you..".  
Draco blushed.  
"Look", Harry started. "Let's just forgive and forget the whole kissing Ron business, and act like nothing happened".  
He saw Draco think it over, and after a few seconds, he nodded his head.  
"Alright, I suppose".  
"Great", Harry smiled, and before Draco could say another word, pulled himself free from Draco's wrist and ran for the stairs.  
Looking for Ron, of course. He had bought an even _tighter_ pair of emojeans, and he wanted to impress his redhead friend.

"H-h-hello?", Ron stammered, trying to get a glimpse of the source of the noise he just heard.

"Is someone out there?".

He couldn't see a thing.

"Hello, Ron", he heard a voice say. "Beautiful day, isn't it?".  
"Uh, yeah, I guess so... Can't see much from down here, though".  
"No… No, we can't", the voice replied.  
"Who are you?", Ron asked it.  
It was then when a small "Lumos" could be heard, and the corridor was instantly illuminated, blinding Ron for a few seconds.  
When his eyes had adjusted to the sudden brightness he noticed a bushy, brown blurb coming at him.  
" This will be the end of you!", Hermione yelled, and with a swish of her wand knocked Ron out cold.

Glorfindel urged his horse to go faster, trying to get to Hogwarts as quick as he could.  
Dumbledore needed him, and he owed him one for that one awkward time when he- well- let's save that for another time. H  
e hadn't had contact with Albus himself, but with one of the paintings in his office, which had contacted him.  
When he heard a student was in trouble, Ron of Mirkwood, no less, he immediately thought of the person who was most likely to be behind it all.  
She might seem nice and smart, but boy, did Glorfindel know she was more like a feisty beast. He made his horse go even faster.

If he was right, there was no time to lose.


	7. Ronald Bilius Fails at Life

_larreatridentatalarreatridentataLARREA TRIDENTATA... CREOSOTE CHAPARRAL..__. _"CREOSOTE LARREA TRIDENTATA!"

"Ron? –Madame! He's finally awake!", the first years' voice pierced Ron's eardrums.

Waking up had never been so difficult. The haziness surrounded his entire being and not a thousand horses could have dragged Ron from the dangers he was experiencing. The larrea tridentata was prominent in Ron's mind. If only he could keep his faith in the oldest living plant on earth everything would be fine.  
Pain crushed his heart and hopes then, and the ginger haired boy _knew_ he would not survive on his own. Desperately clinging to thoughts of deserts and plants and platinum blonde and raven black and spades and his dad and love and hope and faith...

--------

Up in the circular room, which has featured before but has not been thoroughly discussed until this dreadful event came to pass, Dumbledore once again sat worriedly. This time his anxiety was not soothed by the comings of a portrait. No.  
This time no one could bring salvation to the situation.  
Also present in this office, or as some called it; 'the lounge', were Glorfindel and Draco Malfoy.

"Dumbledore, I ask of you no mere favor. I ask for forgiveness.", Glorfindel said. "For I have failed so epically that no sword could cut me enough. No fire could burn me to the black coal I deserve. Hermione has slipped through my grasp and has grown even mightier!"  
Dumbledore sat up in shock. "You don't mean---"

"Yes, I am afraid so. Hermione has consumed my horse, one of Bendelwany's tribe." Glorfindel looked as if he rather wished the earth would swallow him whole. Hand and foot.

It wasn't like Draco didn't like being here, he was enjoying this more than he'd like to admit. Gossip was one of the many guilty pleasures the young Malfoy relished in and he listened as intently as he could. But couldn't they cut to the chase? GOD, they just sat there discussing some HORSE. Who cared if Granger had a different taste in meat? Harry was gone!

Dumbledore turned so quickly his beard caught the round book holder standing on his circular desk. It was as if the old wizard had listened in on the boy's thoughts.

"Harry is gone?!"

-------

"Hermione, where are you taking me?", a certain emo-boy asked his bushy-haired friend.  
"Oh shh, Harry!", she cooed. "We'll be there soon!".  
When Harry had been walking around the school corridors, anxiously looking for Ron, he instead ran into Hermione, who was out of breath and had twigs and leaves sticking out of her hair.  
"Oh Harry!", she had exclaimed, and took his hand. "You have to come with me!".

That's why they were now going through the Forbidden Forest, which has been strictly strictly strictly forbidden since last year, when a student had been caught performing illegal actions with a hippogriff.  
"Hermio-", Harry started, but was stopped when they had suddenly come into a large clearing, dimly lit by the moonlight. In the middle stood a large kettle, softly brewing on green fire. "We're here, Harry!", Hermione said, letting go of his hand and quickly approaching the kettle. She got a few things out of the bag she was carrying – Harry couldn't see what exactly – and chucked them in. She softly muttered while stirring the potion.  
Harry didn't know what was going on. He knew Hermione could get a little mental, but the look she had in her eyes was beyond crazy. Wicked, dangerous. He gulped, and slowly approached her. When he got close enough to the kettle he could see a reddish liquid, with a small touch of purple in it.  
Hermione quickly turned around, catching Harry off guard. He grabbed his wand tightly, which Hermione noticed.  
"Oh, there's no need for wands, Harry!", she brightly smiled. "I just need a bit of your hair".  
Before she had even finished her sentence, she had flicked her wand and was now holding a strand of jet black hair in her hand.  
"What? No! Why?", Harry said a little sluggish, touching his hair. "What are you going to do with it?"  
But it was too late for questions. Hermione had already put it in the potion, and was stirring ferociously. She put some of it in a flacon, and again stood before Harry, all within a few seconds. "Hermione, what are you doing?", he said, involuntary shaking his hips. Damn those hips. They always did that when he was scared.  
Without saying a word she grabbed hold of Harry's face, forcing his mouth to open, and poured the content of the flacon in his mouth. Harry tried to get away, but she was simply too strong for him. She must have been working out a lot over the summer holidays, Harry wondered.  
"Now we will be together forever!", Hermione shrieked, as Harry fell to the ground, clutching his chest. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the remains of the potion's ingredients on the ground. Hephadaris lexiconus, a broken salamander leg, larrea tridentata and something that looked like a strand of fiery, flaming red hair... He also randomly noticed that the end of Hermione's robe was covered in sand. Then everything turned black.

--------

"Harry is gone?", Albus asked the pointy, platinum blond student in front of him, again. Draco looked at him bewilderedly. "But how can you... I didn't say a word!".  
Glorfindel laughed loudly.  
"You mean he does not know?", he asked Dumbledore.  
"Doesnt know? What don't I know?!"  
"Surely your family must have told you by now?", Glorfindel answered him.  
"Glorfindel!", Albus said threateningly. "These matters are none of your business. But let's just say I can, indeed, read... certain minds. Now please, young Draco,", he said, turning to the boy. "Please tell me more of Harry's disappearance".  
Draco looked at the two older men, the wizard and the elf, eyeing them suspiciously for a moment. He noticed the latter was smirking, and wondered if this was just an example of freakishly Elven humour.  
"I don't know where Harry is", Draco said finally. "All I know is that I saw him leaving with that Granger girl, the one you're talking about. Do you think something has happened to him?", he asked suddenly, unable to hide the worry in his voice.  
"My dear boy", Albus told him gravely. "I'm afraid that's precisely the case".


End file.
